Negotiate From Both Sides of Your Mouth

Every hue whispers a story, every symbol embodies a legacy, and every pattern is a testament to a nation's soul

In the global theatre of business, the most successful negotiators are not those who have a single, perfected pitch. They are the linguistic and cultural ambidextrous—those who can negotiate from both sides of their mouth. This isn't about being duplicitous; it’s about the crucial ability to adapt your communication style, your timing, and your very understanding of "value" to the cultural context of the person sitting across the table. A one-size-fits-all approach is a surefire path to missed opportunities and cultural faux pas.

The American style of business negotiation is often a study in efficiency. It is direct, linear, and binary. If there is a defined need, a quality product that meets it, and a budget to afford it, the deal often moves forward. It's very much like black or white; there is very little gray. The value proposition is king, and the clock is always ticking. Decisions are made quickly, but the attention span is short. You must be quick, precise, and ready to deliver a perfect pitch on the spot.

Just north of the border, I discovered a nuanced variation on this theme. While opening the Canadian market for a New York-based company, I found Canadians share the American directness but temper it with a more friendly and humane approach. The transaction remains important, but it is woven into the fabric of building a personal relationship. There is a greater emphasis on courtesy and establishing a genuine connection before, during, and after the deal is signed. The pace is direct, but the path is more personable.

Venture outside of North America, and the rulebook changes entirely. In the Gulf region, in nations like Saudi Arabia and the UAE, the entire foundation of a business deal is personal trust. A world-class product and a globally recognized brand are merely your entry ticket. The real work is in building the relationship. They prefer to do business with people they know, like, and, most importantly, trust. This isn't achieved in a single meeting. I learned this lesson firsthand after my first trip to Saudi Arabia. Upon returning, my CEO asked the natural question: how much business did you bring? My response was, “Brian, this is my first trip. They need to see me a few more times, get to know me and start trusting me if you want any business from there.” The investment isn't just in the product; it's in the patient cultivation of faith. Furthermore, the direct "no" is often avoided as it can cause offense, leading to situations where you might be ghosted or left in limbo. Strong trust is the antidote, ensuring honest and open communication.

Then there is France, my home country, which presents a completely different ball game. The French business culture is often built on a foundation of healthy suspicion. The issue of trust is not something you can solve on a personal level with charm alone; people can have a hard time trusting, period. Decisions take considerable time. The primary task is not to sell, but to patiently let your counterpart convince themselves that your product or service is good for them. It requires immense effort in persuasion without a hint of pushiness. The rhythm is akin to deep-sea fishing: you pull with a compelling argument, then you let go and give them space to process. You pull again with new information, and you let go once more. You cannot force the catch.

Of course, it is a serious mistake to crudely generalize and create rigid stereotypes. Individuals will always defy cultural norms. However, to ignore the profound influence of culture on business etiquette is an even greater error. Different nationalities, shaped by distinct historical and social forces, often develop common patterns in how they negotiate.

The ultimate lesson for the global businessperson is to become a keen observer and a skilled adapter. You cannot simply play it by the ear using your own cultural compass; you must learn to listen with the ears of your host. In America, be quick and direct. In Canada, be direct but relational. In the Gulf, be patient and invest in trust. In France, be persuasive but never pushy, mastering the art of the patient pull and release.

There is no right or wrong in these cultural differences—only differences. The goal is not to judge but to understand, to learn, and to negotiate skillfully from both sides of your mouth. Your bottom line will thank you for it.